Shopping and me.

When I was a teenager I loved to shop. I would walk into the food court of the mall, smell the intoxicating scent of Asian food and french fries and immediately feel the adrenaline rush shooting through my veins.

I could spend HOURS at the mall and somehow, with a mere twenty bucks, come away with several outfits. I had a rare gift when it came to scouring the clearance racks. It was glorious.

And then I grew up.

And got married.

And got broke.

Had kids.

Three kids.

And am now broker.

I also home school and just butchered every grammar rule. Whatever.

Shopping now consists of lugging three squealing children around. When we walk into the food court they are drawn to the merry go round and french fries like addicts to crack cocaine. My sweet little children's eyes glaze over as visions of the Barnes and Noble train table and book shelves dance through their heads. We go through the mall repeatedly telling them that they can not have the lotions, ipods, cell phones, new age crystals, orthopedic shoes, and pillow pets that are so proudly displayed in the aisles. By the time we get to the department stores to shop we have already spent our clothing budget because one of them has managed to hit yet another growth spurt and we had to spend our life savings in Gymboree.

Ya'll know what I mean. We are mostly all mommas here. And if not mommas to babies, then to furry children who also need clothing and ridiculously expensive flea medication.

Shopping for myself these days is a rare and momentous occasion. It is also a very humbling occasion. I have completely lost the knack of finding cute, stylish clothing on sale. IF (and it is a big if), IF I find a pair of pants that make my rear end look perky then they are at least half of our monthly income. Not really, but they might as well be!! Don't even get me started on the dresses that are all too short, the shirts that have lost their sleeves (somehow they are supposed to be for fall), and prints that should only be found on a ranch somewhere.

Am I alone in this?

Is anyone else perturbed by the western wear look? Does anyone know how to wear it?!? Does anyone else think that the shades of pink and gray that fill the stores this fall are just...depressing?!

I have a feeling I am about to get lots of comments from people who are currently wearing a fantastic plaid shirt and gray leggings.

Shopping just makes me weary. I stand in the dressing room with countless pairs of jeans piled around me and just want to wave a white flag. So far this fall I have found a cute jean jacket. I figure I can wear that over...something. Yoga pants maybe. My maternity ones.

Sigh.